There to Stay
by Sarah1281
Summary: Emma tries to figure out what she feels about sharing her son with the evil queen, whether Regina is going to stay good for Henry's sake, and just why she hates Snow White so much in the first place. Maybe the middle of the night's not the best time for all these worries but it's not like she'll be sleeping anytime soon anyway. Set sometime in season two.


There to Stay

Emma's eyes snapped open as the sound of Henry shouting filled the air. It could be a dream (weren't mothers supposed to be on hand for nightmares?) but given the experiences she'd had since coming to Storybrooke she wasn't going to chance it.

She quickly made her way to her son's room to find him asleep and not under attack though he still seemed to be suffering so she flicked the light on and gently reached out and patted him on the arm.

Henry sleepily blinked awake. "Mom? What's going on?"

"You were having a nightmare," Emma said, wondering if she should sit down or just stand in the doorway or what. He was much more likely to call her 'Emma' when he was fully awake.

Henry noticed her indecision and patted the bed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up."

Emma sat down where he indicated. "Don't feel bad. It's not like you could help it. Was it the red room?"

She hoped it wasn't. She was the only member of her family to have never been there but, from what she understand, it was rather dreadful. How Aurora managed to deal with it for twenty-eight years was beyond her. Yes she and the others weren't aging either but they didn't have the curse clouding their minds and keeping them from realizing how much time was passing.

And, though it had been a complete accident, she knew that Henry had only been forced to put himself under the sleeping curse because she hadn't believed in him. And then if she hadn't given into that stupid sentimental impulse to kiss his corpse after it was all over he would have stayed dead.

Now he just had the nightmares.

Henry looked away. "No, it wasn't. Those mostly stopped."

Emma smiled. "I'm glad. But what were you dreaming about? If you don't mind talking about it, that is."

Henry seemed to be considering it. "No, it's fine. I was just thinking about my mom."

Well Regina would be enough to give anyone nightmares, she supposed.

"Yes?" Emma said, trying to sound supportive and encouraging.

"I dreamed that I told her that I didn't want her in my life anymore and so she killed everyone," Henry admitted quietly. "And the whole time she just kept crying and asking how I could do that to her."

Emma wasn't sure what to say. "Oh, Henry…"

"I was right in front of her. She kept ripping everyone heart out and crushing it like she did Graham's and asking me why I couldn't just believe in her," Henry continued, shuddering unconsciously.

Emma didn't want to get distracted but this was a pretty big detail that needed to be addressed. "Wait, Graham?"

Henry nodded. "Yeah. We knew that my mom had stolen his heart. My book said it and he said it, too. Then he made her mad and he started to remember and then he had a 'heart attack.' I told you she did it."

Yes he had but she hadn't believed him. Of course she hadn't. That was long before the days she had started to wonder if somehow, impossibly, Henry could have been right. And even after she started to wonder it had taken Henry's mysterious coma and her need to save him somehow for her to fully accept it.

But it was true, wasn't it? Even then she hadn't been able to make sense of it. She had thought it must have been some weird genetic thing because healthy young men didn't just drop dead of a heart attack one day.

Henry didn't know this but Graham hadn't just openly started to remember. He had also broken up with Regina and left with Emma. She didn't love him. There hadn't been time. But there had been something, the first stirrings of something since Neal. And Regina had taken that away. She wondered, darkly, just how Regina and Graham had come to be together in a land where everyone's routine had been set by her long ago until Emma had arrived. Maybe it was best not to wonder too much on that front.

"You were right," Emma whispered.

Henry sighed. "Sometimes I wish I wasn't."

Emma could understand that feeling all too well. But this wasn't about Graham and the loss of more than a year ago. This was about Henry suffering _now_. "Henry, why are you dreaming about your mom killing everyone? Did she say something?"

Henry shook his head. "No. Right now everything's fine."

"Right now?"

Henry clenched his hands into fists around his quilt. "It's just…everything's good right now. My mom is spending time with me and I want her to be good so she's being good. But what happens if we get into a fight or I want to leave Storybrooke someday or she thinks she's not spending enough time with me?"

"Is that what you're worrying about?" Emma asked. "Henry, you shouldn't have to worry about grown-ups turning evil and killing people."

Henry gave her a look that said that he himself was far too grown-up for that kind of thinking. "Not worrying about it won't mean it won't happen. And I'm the one who can stop it from happening. If I'm just loving and encouraging enough and never do anything to make her give up."

"You're a kid," Emma said firmly. "A brave, responsible, and resourceful kid but still just a kid. You did enough getting me here and making sure I became the savior. Keeping your mom from becoming the evil queen again isn't your job; it's hers."

"That won't make me feel better if she rips your heart out," Henry said frankly.

"Well I'll tell you a little secret. Your mom won't be able to rip my heart out," Emma confided.

Henry's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Really. No one can. Cora tried and even _she _couldn't do it."

Henry brightened at that before slumping again. "She can still kill you another way. And everyone else can have their heart ripped out."

"Do you really think she'd do that?" Emma asked.

"The only reason she didn't kill everyone in the first place is because she wanted them to suffer more," Henry said matter-of-factly.

Emma winced. "Right."

What could she really tell him? 'It's okay, the evil queen would never try to murder everyone'? He was right that she had shown herself perfectly willing to do that. He wanted her in his life and, even if he didn't, would it be safe for them to try and keep Henry away from her? Even if she would never hurt Henry himself, her killing everyone he loved was going to cause some damage.

"What if I say or do the wrong thing? What if she decides to be evil again because I don't want to move back in with her or something?" Henry asked worriedly. "I don't want anybody to die."

"It won't be your fault, Henry," Emma said immediately. "Your mom loves you even if she doesn't always do the right thing. She wouldn't want you to blame yourself for her bad choices."

"But they'd still be dead because I didn't act the way she wanted me to act," Henry objected. "My fault or not, I can't live with that. You know how hard it was after Graham. He never would have died if I hadn't brought you to Storybrooke."

That was a punch to the gut. "Are you saying you regret bringing me here?"

"Of course not!" Henry exclaimed. "I love you and you had to break the curse. We couldn't just leave them like that forever. I knew it wasn't my fault Graham died but if I hadn't started trying to fight her he'd still be alive. I just don't want anybody to die no matter whose fault it is."

"Well that's the thing about heroes, Henry," Emma said after a moment. "We're not so easy to kill. And you mom's doing good right now. I can't promise you that she won't decide to be the evil queen again but right now she's not hurting anybody and I know she'd be horrified if she thought that you were worrying about that."

"I guess…"

It wasn't perfect but it was all she had. "Try to get some sleep."

Henry snuggled deeper into his covers and she turned the light off.

"Night, Henry."

"Night, Emma."

She shut the door behind her and headed to the kitchen. She wouldn't be able to fall asleep right away after something like that but she hoped Henry would have better luck.

It had never occurred to her before that Henry was keeping Regina good but it made sense. She had thought that Regina wasn't trying to kill everyone because who even did that and it had been nearly three decades since the last time she had had been the evil queen. She still wasn't quite used to all of this being real, it seemed.

Would Regina revert to being the evil queen again? She didn't know. She wanted to believe that she wouldn't and they were safe from her, at least, but she remembered how she had gone to Regina and promised to stay away from Henry forever (a promise that would have killed her to keep but it was what was best for Henry) and how Regina had still tried to cast a sleeping spell to leave her in a coma forever. She would have died if Henry had not died in her place.

And yet, after everything that Regina had done to keep the curse going it had taken leaving Henry comatose before she had admitted everything and worked with her to save him even though she must have known the threat doing so would pose to the curse. She hadn't cared. That couldn't be denied. Regina had put Henry first in that instance even if their little rivalry over their son hadn't been very good for him.

But it was because of Henry. She hadn't been fine with breaking the curse because she had changed and no longer wanted everyone around her to suffer. It was strictly because of Henry. That was why she was being good now. Henry wanted nothing to do with a villain who would hurt and kill people so easily even if he was willing to give an ex-villain who was trying to change another chance. It was better than nothing although she didn't think the fact that Regina would have no problem if Henry suddenly decided that evil was awesome meant that she had actually changed. Maybe one day her good behavior would be more about being good for its own sake than for Henry's.

But in the meantime, what _would _happen if her relationship with Henry was threatened? Henry was right, it really wasn't fair to put all of that on his shoulders. But what else could they do? _Could _they even defeat the evil queen? Chances are they would need to kill her to really neutralize her (apparently her parents had a habit of coming out on top over Regina and yet somehow she had come back with the curse) and Henry would be heartbroken if it came to that.

Light flooded the kitchen and Emma's head shot up.

Mary Margaret was standing in the doorway. "I hope I didn't startle you. I just didn't want to see you sitting there alone in the dark like that. Would you mind some company?"

Emma shook her head. "No, of course not."

It was still a work in progress adjusting to her best friend becoming her mother but she hadn't even remotely liked David Nolan and now he was her father so it could be worse.

Mary Margaret sat across the table from her. "Thinking deep thoughts at three in the morning?"

Emma sighed and ran a finger through her impossibly tangled hair. "I'm just worrying about Regina."

"I've spent quite a few sleepless nights doing the very same thing," Mary Margaret said knowingly.

"Did it help?" Emma asked.

"Sometimes."

"I'm hoping that this whole 'being good for Henry' thing lasts," Emma said.

Mary Margaret frowned. "You're thinking it might not?"

"Regina has always struck me as a 'I want what I want now' kind of person and these things take time. She might decide she wants to be good but she still cursed everyone for twenty-eight years and it would have been longer had Gold not built in that savior loophole and apparently terrorized them even before that happened," Emma replied.

"I hope she'll succeed, too," Mary Margaret said, nodding. "But then, I've always held out at least a little hope for her even when I know that I'm just being naïve. It's because she helped raise me, I think."

"I can imagine," Emma said because that was really all she could do. Imagine. In a way, Henry and his grandmother had shared a mother and she had once been evil. Emma had never had a mother growing up and she didn't know how she would handle such a thing happening to her.

"She admitted to the curse for him," Mary Margaret reminded her. "She does love him. I think she'll at least give it a hell of a shot."

"You still want her to be good after all this time," Emma mused. "And she did all of this because she hates you so much. What even happened there? Tell me it's not as simple as she thought you were prettier than she was."

"I told people that when they asked," Mary Margaret said distantly. "It's ridiculous but it was easier than facing the truth and, well, everyone always wanted to know just why Regina put a price out on my head."

"What really happened?"

"A very long time ago, my mother died and broke my father's heart," Mary Margaret began. "He was always enough for me but he believed that children need a mother and so he began to search the kingdom for one. It was complicated because most of the people who wanted to marry him just wanted to be queen or to give birth to a prince or princess and my father was just looking for someone who cared about me."

Emma nodded. "I can see where that would be complicated. And if he weren't looking for a wife for himself but just a mother for you it would be even harder. There's not a lot of people that selfless."

And yet somehow it seemed that _Regina _was the winner.

"One day while I was out riding my horse just took off suddenly with me on it," Mary Margaret continued. "Regina happened to be nearby and saved me."

Emma raised an eyebrow. "She 'just happened' to be nearby and catch your father's eye as someone who could be a good mother and who saved your life?"

"She wasn't like that then," Mary Margaret protested. "She didn't even want to be queen. She had a love, you see, named Daniel."

"And the sanctity of marriage was going to stand in her way?"

"She didn't tell me about him," Mary Margaret said. "I just sort of stumbled across them. She made me promise never to tell anyone about him, especially her mother. And I did promise. I meant to keep it, too."

"Meant to?"

Mary Margaret looked down at her hands. "I was very young, Emma, and Cora knew exactly what to say to me. She was talking about how she just wanted to understand Regina and make her happy. I'd had a good life up until that point. I had no idea that there were people like her who would take the news that her daughter was in love with a stable boy and so kill that boy in front of her so she would marry my father."

Emma let out a low whistle. "Damn, that's evil."

"I never knew, either," Mary Margaret said softly. "I asked her about Daniel right before the wedding and she said that he ran off and I must have said something about how I had told her mother and from that moment on…but I never knew. Until the day that she gave me the poisoned apple I never knew she killed him."

"And?" Emma asked.

Mary Margaret blinked at her. "And what?"

"You told Cora that she loved Daniel and Cora killed him. It's terrible for Regina, yes, but it's pretty clear you didn't do it to get Daniel killed and had no way of knowing what Cora would do. And you were just a kid. What else happened that made her hate you?"

"That's…actually it," Mary Margaret admitted. "Though I'm sure the fact that I kept not dying or being captured and was happy before the curse just made it worse."

"That's it? That's how you ruined her life and she had no choice but to seek eternal vengeance on you?" Emma couldn't believe it.

"If I hadn't told Cora-"

"She might have found out anyway if the two of them ever did more than just gaze longing at each other," Emma interrupted. "And the key words are 'told Cora.' She's the one who ruined Regina's life."

"She told me not to tell. She made me promise. She knew what would happen," Mary Margaret insisted.

"And since you were a kid and not a crazy person, you didn't understand what Cora would do. At most all you could have expected was that she would fire Daniel and send him away but she came to you out of concern for her daughter and you were trying to make her happy. You were being selfless if you liked her and wanted her for a mother."

Mary Margaret smiled sadly. "Oh, but I did. And then I destroyed her happiness."

"Cora did."

"I remember what I felt when I held your father's lifeless body in my arms moments before the curse took me. He was really, truly dead. I don't know how the curse just managed to put him in a coma but I'm grateful for that, at least. Imagine living with the pain of losing your true love every day for years on end and then imagine you were forced to play mother to the one responsible for that loss."

"It would be quite strange if she were expected to do that as the person responsible for that loss was, in fact, her own mother," Emma said stubbornly.

Mary Margaret shook her head. "You sound like your father."

Emma shrugged. "Yeah, well, you know what they say. Great minds and whatnot. But seriously, Mary Margaret, all you did was try to help. Maybe you should have listened to her and not told but it doesn't justify any of this."

Mary Margaret hesitated. "I never _really _thought it did or I wouldn't have kept fighting her. But it's hard. And I understand why she can't bring herself to blame her mother."

"So I guess as long as we just don't tell secrets Regina makes us promise we won't tell we'll be good," Emma said. "Unless those secrets are really important things we need to know like 'I'm going to be evil again and kill everyone' in which case we'll just have to live with her hating us."

"If it makes you feel any better, she already hates us," Mary Margaret pointed out.

Emma groaned and buried her head in her arms. "See, _this _is why it took me so long to believe in the curse. Fairytale characters always having to be so melodramatic!"

Mary Margaret smiled at that. "Technically you're a fairytale character, too."

"And you better believe I reserve the right to be very melodramatic about this."


End file.
